Time! In due time! What does that even mean? It’s hard when you hear someone say, “it’ll happen for you, in due time”. Well I feel like my time IS due. It should be here. I, of course, am referring to motherhood and pregnancy. I have been in a 7+year wait for my miracles and have been so close twice. I am in another wait and feel like my “due time” could be very very soon.
Let’s break apart Galatians 6:9. It reads: let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. If we do not give up is an important part to remember. I have been at that point. I’ve wanted to give up. I wasn’t sure how much more I could handle. After our 2nd loss from our first FET cycle, I was in tears, heartbroken, falling into my husband’s arms, saying, “I don’t know how much more I can handle. I don’t know if I can keep doing this.” He then says to me, “It’s not over! We still have embryos. Don’t give up!” Simple as that “don’t give up!” My husband was hurting as well, but God love him, he has been so strong and so patient! To me, though, even in the midst of his grief, he was telling me that he believed our due time was coming, just not at that moment.
When will my time come? I don’t know. I hope it’s sooner rather than later, but all I know is that I cannot give up. I have to give it my all. I have to know that at the end of the day, I did all I could to glorify the Lord and follow his commands. He says it right there, that let us not grow weary in doing good. Keep doing, keep being good. The more good we put into the world, the more good we will receive back. I am a firm believer in what you put out, you get back. If you’re negative all the time and being nasty then you cannot be surprised when people are being rude and negative towards you. If you’re happy and loving towards others, you will be surprised at the amount of love and happiness you will receive back. That’s what God is saying. Don’t get tired of being and doing good. That’s what he commands us to do. That’s what we should do to just be decent human beings. It can get tiring being good and nice to others and it’s not reciprocated, but if we keep it up and keep going then IN DUE TIME, we will reap a harvest! My harvest is babies. I am not giving up on my baby. I am not giving up on my TTC sisters, I am not giving up on the infertility community and remaining an advocate, I am not giving up on God and his plans for me. I am praying for others and doing what I can to spread love and encouragement to those walking the same path as me.
As hard as this wait may be, I can take comfort in knowing that my due time is coming, it’s been promised to me. And knowing what I know about God, he won’t give up on me!