I have not delved hardcore into our fertility story on this blog yet, but have touched on a few things from the past few months. As mentioned in previous posts, we have undergone a fresh IVF cycle that ended in loss and a frozen cycle that also ended in loss. that’s been a few months. Our last loss was in May. We are now ready to move on.
I’ve had some tests done over the last few months where we found out that I have one copy of MTHFR, which is a gene mutation, in which I am on an over-the-counter supplement for. I also had a hysterscope that found a few fibroids and some polyps which were removed during that procedure.
All in all, things are going well. I feel great physically. I am in a good place emotionally. We are set and ready for our next frozen cycle. I’ve had my baseline ultrasound and have even started my estrogen oral medication. I start PIO again on Thursday. Never thought I’d be so happy to start that medication again!
So, now here I sit. Writing to you all. One week still away from our next transfer and it’s hard to not let my thoughts wonder. What if the same thing happens this time? Why would it magically work this time and it didn’t the last two times? But then I stop and realize that I serve the Lord. He’s got me! Why would he continue to have me go through heartache? That’s not what he wants for any of his children. I am pressing into him hard. Praying the prayers that seem selfish, but they’re not because they’re the desires of my heart. He promises to grant us our heart’s desires, and this is mine. There is no reason to think that this won’t happen for us this time. My God is bigger than my fears and bigger than the enemy. When the enemy brings those negative thoughts to my head, I look up, up to the Lord, my creator, my healer and know that he is the one that will renounce any negativity in my life and only bring joy and peace over me.
Over this next week, I have things to look forward to and little embryos to pray for. They’re my kids, my babies, the ones that God has created in His image. It may not be the traditional way that most people make babies, but they’re real and they’re mine! I cannot wait to hold them and love on them forever.