We are all always waiting for something, aren’t we? Whether it be a new job, the approval for a home loan, a special vacation, or, for me, a baby! I have been waiting for a baby for over 7 years. I have endured much in my wait, impatience, heartbreak, hope, renewed hope, joy, excitement, financial strain, and so much more. Waiting is hard and it can be gruesome.
As mentioned before, we have gone through IVF which ended up in miscarriage. We did a frozen embryo transfer, which also ended up in miscarriage. Two “sure fire” things that gave us 80% chance of getting and staying pregnant. A dream we’ve had for so long, ripped and taken away from us. Still waiting.
I got the title of this from something a friend said to me last week. We were texting about her recent pregnancy loss and some of the emotional struggles she is dealing with. She has a 2-year-old son who she is so grateful to have, but her desire for more children is still there. She texts me, “but you and Rob have gone through so much more”. I reassured her that her feelings still mattered and that whether we’ve gone through “more” or less, it doesn’t matter, we’ve still both dealt with waiting and pregnancy loss and I know that my babies are still coming. Her very next text to me was, “you have a very healthy attitude!” That was an interesting way to put it, but it’s so true. My response to her was that I had no choice but to have a healthy attitude. This healthy attitude breeds joy. It helps me to continue to enjoy the things I’ve always enjoyed in my wait. It’s helped me to know that my miracle is still coming. The enemy wants me to be sad and defeated and completely torn up about this. He wants me to continue to mourn over my losses and he wants to constantly remind me of those losses. We are transitioning into our next transfer and are so blessed and grateful for that. Why would we want to muddy that up with thoughts of what happened in the past?
So those words, “healthy attitude”, continue to stick out to me and it’s something that I strive to continue to have through this process. Having my eyes fixed up on the Lord while I walk the path before me is the only way I will get through this continued wait and know that my desire is waiting for me on that road somewhere. It’s been a long road, but it keeps going. It is endless. So as long as the Lord keeps leading me to my baby, I’ll keep following.
Keep that healthy attitude no matter how much stress your wait may be causing you. It will help you find joy in the wait and will bring you so much peace that the days of the wait will just tick away and your end result will be yours!